


Minor Miscalculation

by The_EXxtra



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/M, Sneezing, Sniffling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 03:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17841746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_EXxtra/pseuds/The_EXxtra
Summary: Byleth and Edelgard discuss interesting events that happened very recently.





	Minor Miscalculation

“Morning, Edelgard. Are you feeling any better?” Byleth asked his student, pouring some tea for the dreary eyed lady.

“Oh, yeah.” Edelgard laughed, rubbing one of her eyes with a fist.

The sun conveniently set on the table the two were soon to be sitting at. Edelgard crossed her legs and leaned on a marble pole, bending down on one ankle as she stretched her arms up and yawned.

“I don’t think I’m worried about my training anymore, Sir.” She mentioned, cracking a smile through her drowsy exhale.

Pouring tea into two modest cups, Byleth asked “You still set on being so proper? I’m sure you’d be better off being...vulnerable.” The dark green haired professor laughed, pouring a bit more tea in Edelgard’s cup out of pity.

Edelgard scoffed, tightening her robe’s sleeves as she broke a minor sweat. “You know something like that doesn’t just happen.” She stormed forward, sitting in the chair.

“Oh right, your temper set you off. Got it.” Byleth added, gracefully making his way to the fairly lit table. 

Snatching a cup from the teacher, she pulled the drink briskly to her side of the table. A splash of hot liquid tainted her rope. She held in her anger with a slow breath in as she faced the ceiling, exhaling sharply.

“Edelgard, I’d be happy to remind you of the placebo sunlight can have on certain facial features.” He winked, hoping to fuel the lady’s anger for fun.

Swinging her head down briskly, the albino student looked right into Byleth’s eyes. Her face looked pouted for a moment, before she exhaled softly as to not tire herself out. “Did you think that up overnight?” She asked in a monotone voice, staring blankly at her tea.

Wanting his student to be the one talking to feel more at ease, Byleth said. “Speaking of which, have you been recollecting of yesterday’s...incident?” He phrased with intrigue.

Edelgard’s face tensed, trying to move forward from just the emotion she felt from last night. Her eyelids lowered as she pondered how she were to phrase her point of view. “Well, I remember how it started...I think.” She said with uncertainty.

Kicking his feet back in anticipation of a ramble, Byleth said “Really? Because I remember that you were the one who approached me. Was it not that important?” the professor added, feeling very nosey.

Snapping back, Edelgard yelled. “It was VERY important.” Upon thinking of the subject, she drooped her shoulders and hung her head closer to the table’s surface. She held her hand out for a napkin and received one just as quickly as she gestured. “It was kinda big confidence thing, ya know?”

Twirling some sugar in his tea, Byleth nodded “I guess you’re right, I mean, come on, you’re a great leader!” He smiled with a sip of his tea.

Edelgard sat up in her chair, dipping a finger into the cup before shaking it from the heat and putting that finger in her mouth, satisfied with how the substance tasted. She replied “Yeah, but it kinda doesn’t help you were treating me like a kid over...ya know.” She said as she avoided mentioning a certain topic confidently.

Blowing on his tea, Byleth saw Edelgard rubbing her hands together anxiously. His cheeks brightened as he said “It’s not like sneezing is this forbidden thing...ya know.” Byleth mocked at the end.

Biting her lip for a moment, Edelgard moved her chair forward, sitting on the edge of her seat. Holding both her hands out, she began talking with conviction and her hands. “Listen, my sneezes sound awful, okay? I don’t need this inside joke of yours to embarass me for weeks on end.” 

Byleth giggled and leaned forward. “Is a kitty sneeze really THAT embarrassing? That’s pretty cute, actually.” He ended with a boop.

Edelgard crossed her eyes when she got booped, rubbing the tip of her nose and snorted in denial. “No they don’t, they-they’re more like horns or something.” Her face was more conscious about it actually having a nose, noticing the tip of it, feeling like a pert ballon. This made the red-dressed lady’s face match her outfit.

Crossing her arms, she reluctantly glanced at Byleth and said. “I’m sure this is what happened, you flirt.”

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“Edelgard, listen. I’m certain you are the most confident soldier I’ve ever seen.” Byleth assured Edelgard, kneeling by her side and patting her back.

Tears were drowning her eyes, her teacher’s words were soothing, but after a wipe of her eyelids, she looked as though she couldn’t contain her sorrow for long.

Byleth clenched a fist, determined to raise the spirit of this exceptional student. Closing his eyes, he embraced the defeated lady with a firm hug, giving her room to hug back if need be. “I’ll even carry you every step of the way, no matter how hard it will be.” 

The white-haired woman opened her eyes hesitantly, still feeling her tears ducts at work. After a few blinks, her eyes were fully exposed to the sunlight waving over her face. She felt arches prop up along the side of her nostrils, conflicting the lady’s mind with another insecurity. “Byihh-byleth, muihh…” She hitched, sounding a bit stuffy as her sinuses convinced themselves she truly did need to let out a sneeze.

Blinking profusely, the dark dressed professor lessened his grip on the now sneezy student, backing away at the revelation. He looked up at a counter in the corner of the room and darted to grab a handkerchief. “My dear, this should do. I insist.” Byleth offered, allowing himself one more chance to help this supposed helpless cause.

Only a moment has passed, and Edelgard’s nose was defying her will. It began scrunching fiercely at the bridge, her nostrils shivering and flaring in and out from her modest septum. The victim was baffled at how her own body would betray her like this so easily, given that she had other affairs to worry about. “Gehih!” She hitched in denial, her head rearing down to avoid any more sunlight.

He identified how keen her nose was on sneezing. Byleth looked as though he came prepared for this particular occurance and sprinkled some pepper on the tissue. He then waited silently, waiting for her to beg for assistance. “I’m sure it isn’t too severe.” He bargained.

“Uihhh!” She hitched loudly, her face scrunched and wrinkled from her body’s simple request. It was getting past the point of a stubborn itch, she had to at least hold it off. Her hand lifted and from it, a knuckle from her pointer finger pressed firmly under both her nostrils, daring to crush the bone separating the two quivering caverns. 

Byleth quietly chuckled, seeing how the desperation unravel outwardly. He lounged in his spot, sprinkling a few more drops of pepper on the tissue, being more and more certain she’ll come by his side. “I guess I’m wrong.” He smiled.

“Uihh-of course. Ih-I mean, look at me?” She asked her teacher, feeling her reddening nares try to escape her mere knuckle. She wasn’t a prime strategist, but her improv skills felt very appropriate now.

Crossing her eyes, she could see just how devilish her nares were moving, trying to escape the binding they had with the rest of her nose. The bulb at the tip of her sniffer quivered slightly, but was ignored up till she looked at it herself. She shifted her finger, pressing the side of it against the tip of her nose. 

Edelgard cringed at how submissive her nose was to touch as it bent and squished to her will. She felt her right nostril tighten as she rubbed left, the bulb at the end of her nose protruding the same way, her finger and nose went opposite henceforth, letting the woman get used to how her nose reacted. 

Byleth cocked his head to the side as he observed Edelgard fight her nose in a ridiculous manner. He chuckled at a joke he made up on the fly, saying. “When it comes to a sneeze, the nose knows.” he cringed, still holding the deceptive hanky.

“Uih-why yeihhhh!” Edelgard failed to respond, her sinuses sending a massive tickle down the bridge of her nose and back to her nostrils. She grunted, frustrated with her own body’s failure to stay strong. Her coyness grew exponentially when she realized that it was her nose being the primary weakness, her nose, something so insignificant. 

Furious with her own shortcomings, she rid herself of any subtly she thought she had beforehand and rearranged her hand’s posture. Striking her fingers and thumb straight, she pressed the palm of her hand flat against the faintly bulbous tip and began sliding her hand up and down the tip, pushing downwards to spread her care to her nostrils.

Byleth was more attentive, noticing how much charm Edelgard was sacrificing just to tame a mere itch of the nares. Turning his body around Edelgard’s, couldn’t help but notice the nares of the lady bend and arch in between the moments she had flattened her sniffer like a pig and drooped her nose like a bird’s beak.

He asked the student again if she needed help. “Would you?” Byleth said, offering the handkerchief once more.

Edelgard was certain she could beat her own nasal organ at a sneeze, to which she held a finger up so that Byleth could wait on her for one more moment. She turned her hand to have the fingertips face sideways, contorting her nose in a circle. Every moment, she could feel the tip indent and shift around, her nostrils being much sturdier but faltering just as badly. 

After her nose suffered enough awkward shifts and sniffles, she caved in “Pluihh *sniffle* please, pluih-place it on my nuihh *snort* nose!” 

Smirking, Byleth said “If you insist” with a sinister grin, pressing the checkered fabric on the girl’s needy nose.

Edelgard crossed her eyes to update her perception of her appearance, seeing a silky tissue glue itself to her nose. The red and black clad student grasped the handkerchief and stuck some of the tissue against her nostrils, suffocating them enough to slow the rebellious itch from growing.

Ready to sneeze soundly, Edelgard took a deep breath in. Her eyes popped, feeling spicy grains get sucked onto the inner walls of her nares. The sneezy warrior squeezed her nose in a knee jerk reaction. “Whih...what the heihhh! Hell! *snifffle* Ehh!” She hitched pathetically, her voice cracking with the itch winning out control of the strong individual.

Her eyes hovered back up to the skylight, the itch amplifying as if on cue. In her last moments, her nose flexed its nostrils fiercely as they clenched onto bits of fresh air it could find. The tip of her nose bracing the scrunching and flaring, with the bulb on the end wiggling, still appearing smooth. Edelgard’s hand swung away from her face, both arms aimed at the ground.

“Geihh...nuihh...no! Duih-don’t sneeze...don’t sneuh-Chiewww! Gahchiewww! Husheww!” She sneezed three times, leaving just a meager tickle to be countlessly sniffled at in the end…

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“You were so immature as well!” Edelgard finished, ending her side of the story.

Byleth, baffled by his student’s warped sense of reality, said “First of all, I don’t go around making people sneeze.” 

Taking his finger, Byleth continued. “Secondly, that small little sniffer you got could hardly scare a fly.” Once again, finishing off with a boop of her nose.

“Okay dad, tell me what happened.” Edelgard pouted, rolling her eyes.

Getting extra comfy to tell his definitive story, Byleth said “Okay, ma’am.” he chuckled.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Just listen to your team for once and maybe you’ll do fine.” Byleth compromised, attempting to give his pupil advice.

Edelgard, frustrated with her teacher’s insistence said “But I know what the best course of action is. They should just follow me.” She exhaled, looking up at the skylight, continuing to be stubborn.

After a firm inhale, Byleth said. “Okay, I’ll admit, you are the best leader I know, but that doesn’t mean you sh-Edelgard?” He finished with a puzzling painted on his face.

As she aimlessly watching the sky, her eyes scanned over an exceptionally bright light. With her eyes eased into the light, her nose was scrunched against it’s will, submitting to the phonetic reaction her mind was prone to creating. “Oh guhh-chieeee!” Edelgard squeaked quick sneeze, her hands fanning her nose as another itch began to build up.

Byleth saw the small sneeze, and could tell more were on their way. Grabbing a tissue, he approached the sneezy Edelgard. “Are you well?” He asked bluntly, holding a tissue in the other hand as he waited for her turn his way.

“Snifle snfle snfle, heh-chiiiii!” Her nose screamed again, sounding like a chipmunk chattering. She placed a finger under her nose lightly, still having the sneeze spell take most of her strength away.

The dark dressed professor was getting worried by the second. He didn’t wanna force his care onto her, yet, she was easily losing the battle to mere skylight. He stood by patiently “Just let me know if you need a tissue.” Byleth said.

Edelgard’s hand hovered away from her nose in the moments between her tiny bursts of air. The lady’s nostrils arched just a tad, being different enough to startle her. She cupped her hands over her nose and repeated “Heihh...ehchiiii! Hehchiiii!” She doubled over, hair getting in front of her face.

Before she could acknowledge her teacher, some strands of hair snuck in between her fingers. She wiggled and wiggled her nose, hoping to move the hair off of her nose. She failed to consider how the bulbous tip of her precious nose could influence how sneezy she could become. With the malleable tip scrunching left and right with her nostrils as Edelgard flexed and contorted her nose as well as she could, the hairs that landed on the plush tip of her nose shivered, sending a tiny shockwave through her fair sniffer.

Obeying her nose’s will, her hands moved away from the sides of her quivering sniffer. With just a flare and twitch of her nose, another mini fit took place. “Nono nuih-no agaichhiiiiiii! Guih...heh...oh nihchiiii! Guhshkkkk!” She stifled, crying from the insistence that her nose brought.

“Oh Edelgard, please don’t hold them in. It’ll hurt your poor nose.” Byleth said in pity, giving the sneezy student being overwhelmed by her pert nose. He pressed the tissue against her nose, letting her finish her adorable blows.

Crossing her eyes, the constant wiggle of her nose taunted her. She leaned back and sneezed once more “Guhschieeee!” She squeaked, hearing the sound muffled by a soft tissue.

The violet eyed lady felt her nostrils twitch strangely, as if they were getting comfy in the covers of the tissue. After the nose settled in, the sinuses gave out the final attack and tortured the poor girl one last time. “Guehshiiii! Ehihh-gehhh...chiiiii! Hehieeee! *sniffffle* Nuihh-not agaihsshiiiii! *sniffle*...ah, thanks!” She sniffled after her now red nose showed mercy.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And I swear, you looked so silly when you sneezed. You were like “achii!” “ Byleth demonstrated, cupping his hands over his nose similar to how Edelgard sneezed earlier.

The mocked student turned her nose up at her teacher, her eyes facing sunlight again, triggering another sneeze. “No I duih-don’t...huhchiii!” She paused, eyes widening before sneezing into her hands just as Byleth showed. 

Tensing her hands, she faced the professor again, screaming at him for a moment “Just because your right doesn’t mean you have to shove it in my face.”

Considering the angery Edelgard adorable, he smiled “Well, maybe I am a flirt. Because you do have such a cute nose. Even when it’s all scrunched up like that, you look cute~!” He said with a blush.

Edelgard gasped, crossing her eyes to see that in her fit of anger, her nose was indeed scrunched. Covering her nose, she blushed back “Since when were you a teacher?!” She said, feeling a bit flattered whilst her emotions still steamed on the surface.

Across the hallway, another student says from the distance “Hey guys, we made some pancakes. Wanna try some? They’re delicious!”

Both Byleth and Edelgard became wide-eyed, blushing from the intrusion. They both sat semi-formally and said “We’ll be right there.” At the same time, looking into each other’s eyes warmly.


End file.
